Well, I do have to admit defeat – at least in terms of being able to blog for 100 days in a row.  I made it to 66 days spread over about 90 days (including weekends).  I learned a lot.  I learned I do have something to write about – even if other folks aren’t convinced they want to read it.  I learned that I like to write – given the time to do the thinking about what I want to write about.  I learned that although I wish I weren’t; I’ve been too trained in the last 15 years to be an academic writer, and so it’s very hard to write something once and publish it without further work and reflection upon the product.  I learned that it’s hard to write without an audience.  I learned what I already knew already that I’m pretty tenacious; the difference being that as I age I know when to give up!   It was fun.  I intend to go back over my entries, pick up some of the threads and create some more viable products than a paragraph here and there.  And, so actually I wasn’t defeated — I correct myself — I chose to stop something that was no longer interesting and not finish just for the sake of finishing.  For me – that’s big!

Become a Big.  Do you want to make a difference in the world?  Yes, you could donate some money, bring some cans to the food bank, donate your old clothes, your old car, and put coins in the red bucket during the holidays.  These are good things; but I’m telling you being a Big Sister or Big Brother makes a donation that will last a lifetime – someone else’s.

Tonight I spent a few hours carving out pumpkins with my Little at the local chapter office of Big Brothers/Big Sisters. We talked about school on the drive there, and while we carved, we talked about Halloween, cats, pumpkin whoppie pies, pizza, cool friends, and the rock climbing opportunity her elementary school was giving her tomorrow.  We’ve been a match for two years: getting together twice a month for two years isn’t really a lot; just like the cans, or the old car or the coins aren’t a whole lot.

But I know that my Little is getting a glimpse at something different, at a possibility of other choices when she’s older, and at a different way to interact with life:  helping her learn to say please and thank you and eat with a napkin may be a small thing, but it lasts a lifetime.  Teaching and learning at its finest, at its sweetist, at its finest.  I wish every adult would find a Little: today I’m thinking about the power of mentoring.

A wonderful family weekend  results in Monday morning moments of “Should I feel regretful?” because all of the homework and planning I was going to do over the weekend remains undone. A never ending challenge to my own commitment to good teaching is brought on by weekends when I choose to enjoy my family and home; and end up with a lot to do on Monday to be prepared for the week’s classes.  (I suppose I also ought to be thankful I don’t teach on Mondays, but, then again, don’t think I will go down that road!)

In beginning to think about how I’ll approach some topics that I’d like to write about, I came across this blog entry this morning:   Andy’s Teaching and Learning Blog While you can go there and read the whole entry of course, I’d like to quote a section here:

“Some have mentioned that I’ve gone over to the Dark Side, and in fact, that phrase has come up frequently. Dark Side, implying that the faculty role is one of the positive, good-feeling, health, innocence, the way of the Tao, one of righteousness, virtue and Truth and Justice.

On the other hand, as George Burns said, “Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.” Those who are managing college budgets, processes, reporting requirements, scheduling and providing feedback do not speak with one voice. They work in an environment characterized by ambiguity, compromise, and negotiation while attempting to balance conflicting goals and interests. Their dedication to the core mission of the organization, serving students well and helping them achieve their goals and opening the doors of opportunity, trying to do things right while trying to do the right thing, in the face of some severe constraints is admirable. They are decidedly human. Dark side? I don’t think so.”

This morning one of the first emails I received was the news that our Dean of Faculty and Students (don’t think that’s the correct title, but I’m not one for keeping track.) is stepping down from his work to return to the classroom.  And, this semester, I begin working in a reorganized division with the fifth Dean I’ve had in ten years.  There’s a lot of reasons to be a little unhappy about all this – okay, some days a lot of reasons.  But as Andy mentions above, those who work in the insituttion I work in, have an incredible dedication to their mission and to the students we serve.  Somedays it’s amazing to me.

So on the Mondays where I think, jeesh, I really should have done more college work over the weekend, I know I’ll figure out the week ahead.  I always do.  I always will.  Most of my students will eventually work with our youngest citizens:  I have no choice.  The future of young people is my passion.  I am decidedly human and will work with that!  Today I’m thinking about dedication.

The long days of teaching are certainly that, aren’t they?  Long days.  I just took a quick look around the web for  work/life balance information for teachers.  Quite a lot is out there, even some interesting self-assessments with accompanying suggestions for readings or how to seek support.  Almost too much – you could get stressed out trying to figure out what is the best article and information to read!

I did some good research around the issue of burnout for my doctoral research and although it’s about 6 years old, I recall enough of it to know the issues haven’t changed much.  In fact, I do wonder if the threat of burn-out isn’t even worse given the economic challenges that more and more of us face – but that’s for another blogger to cover.

What I was reflecting upon today is the huge prioritizing act I must do to put my teaching first.  I’m decent at it when I’m at home.  I work hard not to grade papers or prep every single night at home; this means really being efficient during the hours I have at school.  But it’s challenging.  What is especially challenging is  balancing the requirements of my chair duties with teaching with community service expectations and more.  Sometimes the meetings are endless and inefficient – I suppose these are the ones that try me the most – as sometimes, okay, maybe more than sometimes, meetings have inefficient leaders.  And, in this world of email, attachments, learning platforms, etc. I do think there is a fair share of material that can be discussed asynchronously via some electronic format.  But I suppose again that’s another blogger’s sound bite to chew apart!

Teaching four classes today was invigorating, and exciting, and add any other labels you can think of in the arena of providing joy and pleasure in one’s work.  However, and but, I have to prepared in order to have efficient, interesting, involved learning experiences for those students.  And preparation takes time.  As a colleague said to me today, it’s early, we’re still organizing and getting rhythms.   I would really be content to do nothing but prep and teach classes – but, again the but, there’s this requirement for other moments that support the running of the learning environment for the student.  And, I do think this is important.  I still have the goal of getting some reading and reflection done around particular books and articles I want to spend some effort on, and I’ll get there.  This week is about relearning how to work in a restricted number of hours per day:  today I am thinking about how to prioritize.

Last Friday it dawned on me that 100 days project in school meant 100 days in school!   I had to debate with myself whether I was going to plan to write everyday or give myself permission not to make an entry on non-school days.  So as you can see – if you count and really why should you? -   I didn’t write on these two weekend days, but I counted them!  Confused?  Suffice it to say I’ll count the days as they pass, but may not have written on weekend or holiday times.   And, this serves as a reminder for me to do research on how the 100 Day Project in schools got started as a curriculum idea.

This weekend was so wonderful, and so exhausting, and didn’t include a bit of schoolwork!  This is pretty unusual in the lives of teachers.  While most of the teachers I know take Saturday off from their work – although most of us will tell you our brains are always thinking about the children or adults we work with – they generally sit down to some task on a Sunday afternoon, knowing Monday mornings just around the bend.

Due to the Hurricane and follow-up tropical storm rain of 10 inches plus, we needed to spend Saturday mowing, helping our neighbor clean rain gutters (and hubby had to do in at least 5 paper wasp nests – likely a record of some kind), and stoop painting.  Sunday, we went to the local agricultural fair with daughter and granddaughter.  We won ribbons for entries; some of us ate ice cream for lunch and fudge for dessert.  Exhausted and still hungry we came home to drag ourselves to bed.

But, I tell you this because these are the kind of weekends that more teachers should have.  Time to relax, recharge and spend loving time with their families.  Burnout is a real issue for teachers.  I recently read that almost 50% of new teachers leave within the first five years due to lack of recognition, and low wages.  I’m closing in on the years that many take retirement, and I must admit there are days when the job is too full, with too many administrative tasks (called administrivia by a friend), that have nothing to do with direct teaching for me that I would be tempted to leave the field as well.  Fortunately for my students, and I suppose for me, I’m trying to build up my savings and retirement income so that I must take the tough days with the good and find my reserves of energy and push through to the good day.  I’m not saying that all days should be perfect for teachers, I am saying our nation does not honor the job enough; and we teachers feel that disrespect.

What to do?  Give yourself permission to have a whole weekend of joy, of fun with the family, okay, even some chores like painting the stoop that uses a different part of your brain and recharges the other part for the classroom and your students.  They and you will be glad you did.  Today I’m thinking about Monday mornings!

When I was thinking about doing this project, I had grandiose ideas of reading important authors writing important thoughts about teaching and learning and reflecting on that material.  I have read quite a bit of it, and have more stacked up.   And, I still intend to do that.  Yet yesterday was a day of reminding me that teaching and learning is also about finding your way through the everyday matters of teaching:  the necessity of paperwork, such as attendance and planning sheets, working with team members who are sure they have the only way to do something, a copy machine that has its own idea of what to do with the odd size original you want 22 copies of, and the clock ticking away the time you thought you had to do that reading.

Time to reflect has always been a goal of mine, a treasure just out of reach on too many days.  This semester, I teach four classes on Tuesday and Thursdays, very long days.  I have managed for these short three days of the project to get up even earlier on these days to write – to give myself time to think and write.  How will I find it other days?  Especially weekends, and holidays and days where life and family seem full and exciting?  I just will.  Time to teach well is time to think well.

Teaching well takes time.  I often explore with my pre-service teachers that, I believe, in early childhood (and I know in community college teaching), the easy way out is the way that takes less time.  For young children, that means coloring books, worksheets and other busy work day after day. For adult learners, that means lectures class after class.  To create learning activities, rich learning activities, takes time.  After ten years of teaching at the college level, it takes me, still, about 1 hour of preparation time for every one and half hours of class time.  On this September second day of class meetings, I don’t teach the same thing I did last year on that date.  This day has new students, different students living in different times than those of last year.

But, then again, that’s my value, isn’t it?  I also talk with my students about how we bring ourselves to our teaching.  And, so I get back to the frustration of having to teach and take time to think about teaching and learning while I have to work with a system and people who are, on occasion, inefficient and self-righteous, and determined to use my time.  Or at least, when I’m tired and wishing I was retired and at home gardening, that’s how it feels.  And, so today I think about the fact that I have grandiose ideas about what I’ll do in this 100-day project.  That’s okay, I can have them.  Some days I’ll pull it off – some days I won’t.  Some days the incessant rain will worry me and I’ll try not to think about my basement as I stand in front of my students.  Other days, I’ll be able to be the most incredible teacher.  Time is the key.  Time will tell.  Time will support.  Time will undermine.  Today I think about time.

Albert Einstein, “Letter to Queen Elizabeth of Belgium”