Professor Sharon

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64, 63 and the ballet

March 30th, 2014 · No Comments · 100 Days Project, Art, Children, Dance, Learning Spanish, Musings, My Goals, Teaching & Learning, time, Work

There are so many thoughts so often during the day now as I look ahead to retirement.   I really should begin to say retirement from this work/job.  I’ve a million ideas of things to do, and no clear vision as to which one or more I might or should focus on.  Some of the thoughts and feelings I’m having are about the passage of time more than what I will fill my doing for no pay life with!

Today I watched the Pioneer Valley Ballet’s production of Beauty and the Beast.  When I was a little girl, I so wanted to be a ballerina.  My favorite book was called:  The Little Ballerina.  I looked like the child in the book and have clear memories of dreaming of doing what she was doing in that book.  The little girl got to take lessons because she had weak legs — I sometimes wished so hard for weak legs hoping I’d get to be like her.  I don’t even know where this book came from as our house barely ever had more than school books in it.  But there it was, and I wanted to be her.  I love watching ballet, and find it easy to pretend to be dancing and to hear the way one would dance to some music.

Today I had to tell myself that I would never grow up to be  a ballerina.  I suppose I never would have anyways.  While I enjoy dancing and understand how to dance; there’s nothing that says I would have been a prima ballerina. Yet, I would like to think with a different childhood, I might have gotten to perform at least once as the beautiful children in today’s production did.

And, so these days, my thoughts are not only on what will I do with my time after I retire; but what have I not gotten to do  up to this point?  Some things I can still work on – like just maybe I’ll get enough Spanish under my belt to have a small conversation, and I can do more creative sewing, and I know I can take some adult ballet lessons even.

I will, however, never grow up to be a ballerina.  And, that is sad.

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